Crisis
20:53
Søren Kierkegaard- “The greatest hazard of all, losing one’s self, can occur very quietly in the world as if it were nothing at all."
Does it not seem immensely strange to those who observe, though they may be few, the rate at which identity can be disintegrated? How we have constructed phenomenally large composites and collectives that tell us blatantly to be only what is necessary to them? It all seems so fragmented as if the pieces they give us do not fit together and we have no perception of the bigger picture. They tell us that we are only as good as our pay cheques, only as desirable as our marketability. Yet, within a hurricane of expectations, do we all not in some sense fall short?
Who am I here in the eye of the storm? And who are you? At 21 it’s hard to say who I am. A realization that has begun to gnaw at me. It seems that while time passes, days turn into years, I fall deeper and deeper into the questionable abyss. Does time change your understanding of yourself? Or are those who are older than us equally confused but holding themselves together with pieces of things they've just learned how to better use?
Here is a better question. Why? Why is existence plagued by the existential crisis? Yes, we are finite beings with infinite questions. Yes, we are limited in knowledge and understanding. Yes, the world does not compile answers and distribute them. However, one's sense of self does not merely stem from his understanding of the world around him. Self is intrinsically determined. Self is definitively intrinsic. So why is it so hard to understand?
Perhaps we have sold ourselves into a culture that explains self externally as opposed to internally. Your family tells you who you are, your friends tell you who you are, your teachers tell you who you are. Who you are is marked by status, by grade, and by class. As much as we would like to argue that such a scheme no longer exists in modern society, it would be hard to deny. While external identifiers are indeed essential, they are not the only identifiers that exist. The emphasis placed in a fast-paced world on the easily administered external identity has diminished the need for self-reflection. If we are told who we are, why would we seek to determine who we are?
Therein lies the problem. One we ironically have the capacity to fix. You are not who other people define you to be. Your job does not define you, your social media followers do not define you, the amount of money in your bank account does not define you. Even your significant other does not define you. You may search in your life, and stop where you are met with projections of who you are to other people. Yet you will find, that you may fall short in every way, without introspection. When their expectations and your inner musings collide, are they fully reflective of each other? Are you happy being the person you are?
Who are you when you are stripped of these things? Spend some time with that person. They likely have been craving your undivided attention.
-crumblingcookie
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