When I think of resilience, I think of my high school spanish literature class and my enthusiastic teacher explaining the wonder of an individual who is able to endure. The book,  No one writes to the Colonel by Gabriel Garcia Marquez posited this fascinating concept of unrelenting hope that asked the reader to question the futility or otherwise necessity of optimism. And in her feverish discussion on resilience, my mind often strayed to Samantha. 

She was not someone you'd look at and think of as strong. Her lean figure and small build would at first glance declare her unthreatening, someone you could easily befriend, When I first met her, the word strong did not once enter my mind. So what was it about her that to this day makes her name almost synonymous with the idea of strength?

There is this long existing notion that an individual's history is what defines them, that no matter the rebellions we hold against the bloodlines of our lives, we will never escape what is meant to meet us. Perhaps one's housing situation, deems them unsociable or their financial situation limits them from ever achieving. While in some sense, the latter is true and circumstance can lay down the limits of our lives, Samantha is one of those people I have personally witnessed who has defied this notion.

Around age 14, when Samantha and I had first met, she'd only begun to understand the irregularity of her own family relationships. An adolescent brother, a loving and hardworking mother and a drunken father were her only known source of familial interaction and while she yearned for it to be different, it never seemed to change. On many occasions, she would tell my classmates and I about her experiences. "One New Years Eve," she recalls "My father had gotten so drunk, all I remember was him quarreling and quarreling until my mom, brother and I could take it no more."  

Such experiences were something of a norm for Samantha and I would deem it impossible to leave the damning effect they have had on such a young woman unnoticed. In fact, she often expressed the need to as she would say "Get out," or "Escape." But she kept going, at a point where it would have been so easy to give up. If I had to point a finger at a reason she may have kept on going, I would point all 10 of them towards her mother. Despite living in an unpleasant situation, her mom seems to be the guiding light, that despite her own inhibitions, fuelled her daughters drive to success, whatever that may be. 

When asked to identify the person she looks up to the most, Samantha replies, "My mom.... There were days in which my mom would work so hard, get up early and go to bed late. My father did contribute to our wellbeing but my mother contributed almost equally. And when she did save, she used to give me what she acquired, so that I could buy the things I needed or wanted, even if she may have wanted something. I didn't even know this at the time."

At age 17, Samantha had been faced with her greatest challenge. She never said this to me, but I could see what was going through her mind. To her, the only way out, the only way to escape was through education. She gave 100% of herself, always and that is no understatement. I can honestly say, there is no other person I know who was as academically dedicated as her

 It was a wonder to me and whenever I saw it, it always brought me back to my 14-year-old friend, who with me had made big plans to reach great heights and believed anything was possible. I remember wishing to believe as much as she did back then. There was one thing I'd always known and that was, I'd always wanted her to achieve what she was working for, partly to remind myself that the past dreams I had, weren't unattainable if Sam could attain them.

 At age 19 on a rainy Friday night, she sits with me to reflect upon the past, displaying what I believe is  her most evolved state of mind. She is more confident than I knew her to be, more assertive and happier. Samantha has achieved her goals and arguably exceeded them. The cliche that hard work pays off is not one I've enjoyed hearing over the years, yet here sits Samantha, the actual embodiment of this. 

Samantha was awarded a national scholarship that will cover the entirety of her college expenses and allow her to attend any university she wishes to. She was consequently accepted to her first choice college a short time ago. Samantha has earned her ticket to escape although she states that she no longer wishes to. 

"I want to enjoy life within the moment, every little bit of it. I don't want to run from it anymore. Everything is temporary, every accomplishment is temporary. All I have and all I will ever have are my experiences and I do not want to run from those," she says.

I know, there are people out there I have yet to meet, who you could say have bigger problems and I acknowledge that. My intention is not to measure or compare. My intention is to share with you and hope you are as inspired as I am.

In the end, strength, I suppose, is running through the wars and re-emerging a new person. Strength is both allowing yourself to be crafted by life and to carve your initials back into it. Problems are problems and none of us are without them. But you and I, we know something not everyone does. Our problems are what make our victories sweet, our achievements monumental, our drives stronger. You can defeat circumstance, no matter what it may be, it cowers in comparison to you, whether you choose to believe that or not.

-crumbling cookie